Three.

It was just the two of us alone in the darkness. She was stirring with the innate drive to come forth from only world she had ever known as I moved instinctively and in awe of the power I possessed. Together we danced this way as the waves radiated outward from my core. The primal sounds that escaped my lips cut rhythmically through the silence of the night. Over the next two days I repeatedly hit a wall where I was sure I couldn't endure another minute. Then she would move within me, reminding me of the goal we were working towards. That I wasn't alone. That we were a team.

Before I knew it she was barreling through my body; her birth was imminent. Everything within me bore down. This was the moment I lad longed for since I was little, the culmination of nearly 9 months of work. There she was, squalling before she had fully emerged. Bruised, wet, and covered in creamy white vernix. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I reached down and hoisted her onto my abdomen and spoke to her without ever removing my hands from her tiny body. She craned her neck upward searching for my face and our eyes locked for the first time. There was an calm familiarity between us. Two beings who had never met, but instantly knew each other. We were lost in our own little world and she remained still and content as long as no one else touched her.

In the hours following her birth we nursed, I wiped her down for her first bath, dressed her in the outfit I picked out all those months ago only to strip her down so I could feel her velvety soft skin against my chest again. It wasn't until the dark, quiet hours of night as I cradled her in my arms after nursing yet again that I cried. It hit me that this child was mine. She was the most perfect creation I could ever hope to claim, and she was my daughter! She depended upon me as much now as she did when she grew within me and I loved her more than I could have ever imagined. In every sense of the word, I had become a Mommy.

Happy third birthday Ariana Raen, my sweet, spunky, independent, happy, smart, and beautiful little girl. You are my whole world and I cannot imagine life without you!!